Jurassic Park..in the real world!


Im watching Jurassic Park this morning, it is one of my all time favorite movies growing up as a kid and still is to this day one of the best depictions of lizard birds, Dinosaur. The Park boasts about its ability to play GOD and bring dinosaurs back to life, including the giant Chicken Lizard, the Tyranosaurus Rex, better known as T-REX. Any how, there is allot of "advanced" technology in the 1993 classic, the Jeeps, on Rails, like the "It's a small world after all" Ride at Disney Land, the Giant electric dog fence to keep all of the dinosaurs in and the tasty morcels of human snacks out, I think. Not to forget the all too cool Night Vision Goggles that Joseph Mazzello (Tim Murphy in the movie) was wearing.
But if they had all of this advanced 21st century technology, why is it that when Wayne Knights character decides to go ape ship and sabotage the Park, he manages to fool everyone, even these super smart archeologists and professors by simply spinning the arrow on a sign post, that said EAST! What happened? Did the guys who installed the Satellite hook-up so that Samuel L. Jackson's character could easily see where everyone was at at any given time in the park decide that go karts his cousin Larry scored in a craps game in the Phillipines weren't suitable for some simple gps? This obvious plot hole leads me to believe that although the mad scientists could manage to bring dinosaurs back to life and turn Shaving Cream Canisters into devices in which to steal DINO-DNA samples, the fact that the Jeeps were on crappy electric go-kart tracks should have been a shear indicator that these multi-million dollar scientists and engineers just weren't smart enough.
Seriously, they managed to get hacked by a disgruntled fat man, they had to have seen that coming. Inevitably a little kid manages to override the hack that had disabled the system, all by knowing how to use a Macintosh Computer mouse.

The moral of this story: If you ever decide to own a secret Tropical island and populate it with Dinosaur, make sure your insurance will cover disgruntled, fat, computer scientists, and get a damn GPS.
Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention the Quagmire of the whole gang was played by the infamous Jeff Goldblum, who w as the shovanistic sex offender who should have been eaten from the waste down and died but instead lives again and gets a second chance at womanizing.

"Fuck Jeff Goldblum" - Pineapple Express
- Gersh

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